How to Write a Eulogy: Structure, Examples and a Free Template

What a eulogy is, how long it should be, a simple structure that works for almost anyone, how to gather stories from family, and what to do if you're worried you won't get through it, with short examples and a free template you can print.

By Chris K, reviewed by Kate B · Last updated 5 October 2026 · Editorial standards

Key points

A eulogy is a short speech about the person's life and character, given at the funeral or memorial.
Two or three specific stories say more than a list of good qualities.
Three to five minutes is common, which is roughly 400 to 700 words.
Gentle humour is welcome if it sounds like the person.
Print it in large type, and ask someone to stand by in case you need them to finish it.

A eulogy is one of the hardest things anyone is asked to write, and most people have never written one before. You don't need to be a good writer or a confident speaker. You need a few true stories, a simple shape to put them in, and a plan for the moment you stand up. This guide walks through all three, with short examples and a free template at the end.

What Is a Eulogy?

A eulogy is a short speech about the person who died, given at their funeral or memorial service. It tells the people in the room something about who they were: their character, what they cared about, and what they meant to the people around them.

It isn't a full life story, and it doesn't need to be. Think of it as a portrait rather than a biography. A few well-chosen details will say more than a complete list of dates and jobs.

A eulogy is also different from an obituary. An obituary is written to be read, usually in a newspaper or online, and includes the facts of the person's life and the service details. A eulogy is written to be heard. If you've already written an obituary, our guide on how to write an obituary explains the difference in more detail, and some of the same notes will help you here.

Who Gives the Eulogy?

Usually a close family member or friend gives the eulogy. It might be a partner, an adult child, a grandchild, a brother or sister, or a lifelong friend. Sometimes two or three people share it, each speaking about a different part of the person's life.

If nobody in the family feels able to speak, that's completely understandable. A celebrant or minister can read a eulogy that the family has written, or put one together from stories the family shares. There's no rule that says the person who writes it has to read it.

How Long Should a Eulogy Be?

How long should a eulogy be? Most eulogies take three to five minutes to read aloud, which is roughly 400 to 700 words. If several people are speaking, check with the celebrant or funeral director how much time each person has.

Services often run to a set time, especially at a crematorium chapel where another service may follow. Knowing your time limit early saves cutting a favourite story at midnight the night before.

A useful test: read it aloud at the speed you'd speak to a friend, and time it. Most people read faster when they're nervous, so a draft that runs five minutes at home may take four on the day.

How Do You Start Writing?

Start by collecting, not writing. Before you try to write a single sentence, spend some time gathering material.

Write down everything that comes to mind. Habits, sayings, favourite foods, songs, places, jokes, the way they answered the phone. Don't sort it yet.
Ask other people. Send a message to family and close friends: "I'm writing the eulogy for Mum. Could you send me one memory or one thing she always said?" You'll get stories you've never heard.
Look through photos. Old photos often bring back stories you'd forgotten, and they can help with dates and places.
Note the facts you'll need. Where they were born, where they lived, their work, their family. You'll only use a few of these, but it helps to have them in one place.

When you've got a page or two of notes, look for the stories that keep coming up, or the ones that made you laugh or cry when you remembered them. Those are usually the ones to use.

What Is a Simple Structure for a Eulogy?

A simple structure has three parts: an opening, two or three stories, and a close. It works for almost anyone, whether the person lived to 95 or died young.

1. The opening (about 30 seconds)

Say who you are and how you knew them. Then say one sentence about who they were.

"My name is Sarah, and Ron was my dad. If you knew Dad at all, you knew he'd never let you leave his house without a bag of lemons from the tree out the back."

2. Their life and character (two to three minutes)

This is the heart of the eulogy. Choose two or three stories or themes, and let each one show something about who they were. You might cover:

where they came from and what shaped them
their work, or what filled their days
the people they loved
what they cared about, and what they were like to be around.

You don't need to cover every part of their life. If a story shows how generous they were, you don't need to also say "he was generous".

"Dad drove a taxi for 31 years. He used to say he'd met every kind of person in Sydney, and he'd liked nearly all of them. When he retired, three of his regular passengers came to the party."

3. The close (about 30 seconds)

End by saying what they leave behind, what you'll miss, or a few words spoken to them directly. Keep it short.

"Dad, thank you for the lemons, the lifts, and for never once making us feel like a bother. We'll look after the tree."

Some people end with a short reading or a few lines of poetry. Our page of funeral readings and poems has some that are free to use.

How Do You Make a Eulogy Sound Like the Person?

Use their words, their habits and their small, specific details. That's what makes people in the room nod and smile, because they recognise the person straight away.

Use their phrases. If they always said "she'll be right" or "don't fuss", put it in.
Name real things. Not "she loved cooking" but "she made the same apricot chicken every Sunday for 40 years".
Show, don't list. One story about them driving three hours to fix a friend's fence says more than "loyal, kind and hard-working".
Be honest. You don't have to pretend they were perfect. A gentle mention of their stubbornness or their terrible jokes can make the eulogy feel truer and warmer.

Is It Okay to Be Funny in a Eulogy?

Is it okay to use humour in a eulogy? Yes, if it sounds like the person. A funny story that shows who they were often brings relief to the room. Keep it warm, and follow it with something heartfelt.

Laughter at a funeral isn't disrespectful. For many families it's one of the moments they remember most. The best funny stories are affectionate ones that everyone can share, not in-jokes that only two people understand.

What Should You Leave Out?

What should you not say in a eulogy? Avoid private family conflicts, anything that would embarrass someone in the room, and jokes that only make sense to a few people. If you're unsure about a story, ask a close family member before the day.

It's also kind to be careful with the cause of death, especially if it was sudden or the family hasn't shared details widely. You can simply say "we lost Mum far too soon" without saying more.

If the relationship was complicated, you don't have to pretend otherwise, and you don't have to explain it either. Focus on the parts that are true and that you're comfortable saying out loud.

How Do You Get Through Delivering It?

Preparation helps more than anything else. Most people are nervous, and most people get through it.

Print it in large type, 16 to 18 point, with wide line spacing. Number the pages. Reading glasses go in your pocket, not left in the car.
Practise out loud at least twice, including once in front of someone.
Mark the places to pause, for example after a funny line, so people have time to laugh.
Bring water, and a tissue.
Look up now and then, but don't feel you have to make eye contact. Reading from the page is completely fine.

What if I can't get through the eulogy? Pause, take a breath and have a sip of water. Everyone in the room is on your side. It also helps to give a printed copy to someone you trust, so they can step in and finish it if you need them to.

If you're worried you won't manage it at all, you can record it beforehand, or ask the celebrant to read it for you. Neither choice says anything about how much you loved them.

How Does the Eulogy Fit Into the Service?

The eulogy usually comes in the middle of the service, after the welcome and any opening reading or music, and before the committal or final farewell. The celebrant or funeral director will tell you when you're on and where to stand.

If there's more than one speaker, agree beforehand who will cover what, so you don't all tell the same story. Our order of service template shows a typical running order and where each part usually sits.

For a non-religious service, the eulogy often takes up a bigger share of the time, since it's the main way the service tells the person's story. Our guide to non-religious funeral ideas has more on shaping that kind of service.

A Short Example Eulogy

Here's a short example, about 300 words, to show how the parts fit together. The names and details are invented.

My name is Daniel, and Joan was my grandmother. Most of you called her Nan, and plenty of you who weren't related to her called her Nan too. That tells you a lot about her.

Nan grew up on a dairy farm near Bega, the youngest of six. She used to say that being the youngest taught her two things: how to make herself heard, and how to share. She did both for the rest of her life.

She moved to Wollongong when she married Pop, and she worked in the school canteen for 22 years. If you went to that school, she probably knew your name, your lunch order and whether you'd said thank you.

Nan was not a woman who sat still. When I was ten, I stayed with her for a week of the school holidays. I thought we'd watch TV. Instead we painted the back fence, made two batches of scones and drove to visit four different friends of hers in hospital. On the way home she said, "That was a nice quiet week."

She could also be stubborn. She refused to own a mobile phone until she was 80, and when she finally got one, she answered it by saying "Who's this?" in a tone that made grown men apologise.

What I'll miss most is her kitchen table. It's where every problem in our family got talked through, usually with a cup of tea and something just out of the oven.

Nan, thank you for the scones, the advice we didn't always take, and for making every one of us feel like your favourite. We'll keep the kettle on.

Looking After Yourself

Writing a eulogy means spending hours with your memories at a time when they can hurt. Take breaks. Let other people help with the gathering and the typing. If you're finding the days around the funeral very hard, our page on grief support in Australia lists free services you can call.

If you're still working through the rest of the arrangements, our step-by-step guide to planning a funeral in Australia covers everything from the first hours to the paperwork afterwards.

Frequently Asked Questions

A free eulogy template. Print it, or copy it into a document, and fill in the parts you want. Skip anything that doesn't fit.

Eulogy Template

Before you write

Time I've been given: ______________________________
Other speakers, and what they'll cover: ______________________________
Family members to check the draft with: ______________________________

Notes to gather

Their sayings and phrases: ______________________________
Habits, hobbies and favourite things: ______________________________
Places that mattered to them: ______________________________
Stories other people sent me: ______________________________

1. Opening (about 30 seconds)

My name is (your name), and (their name) was my (relationship). (One sentence about who they were.)

2. Their life and character (two to three minutes)

Story or theme one, and what it shows about them: ______________________________
Story or theme two, and what it shows about them: ______________________________
Story or theme three (optional): ______________________________
The people they loved: ______________________________

3. Close (about 30 seconds)

What they leave behind, or what I'll miss: ______________________________
A few words to them directly (optional): ______________________________
A short reading or lines of poetry (optional): ______________________________

On the day

Printed in large type, pages numbered
Practised aloud at least twice
A spare copy given to someone who can step in
Water and tissues

About the author

Chris K writes Mixtape Memories' guides on the creative side of a memorial video, covering music, storytelling and what actually belongs in a video that feels like them. The goal is to help families make confident creative choices without turning the process into a production.

Reviewed by Kate B.